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These Minstrels Will Soothe My Jangled Nerves

by McGarnagle

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All Stop 01:28
All stop! Before you know, you drop. All stop! Get up from the black top. All stop! Bike set for the junk shop. Catastrophic spoke failure. Old, and from a cheap retailer.
The photos that I look back on won't help to keep me strong. I never took for granted the times before you were gone. And I know you'll never come back to me. But we'll live forever in my memory. I miss my hair.
I'm always buying new things to make me feel less hollow, like Steve Buscemi in Ghost World; but I'm always in a lonely wallow. But even though I'm always sad, my movie, record, and game collections are super fucking sweet.
If you ask, each cigarette's my last. And if you ask, I have no past. This is how I was born and this is how I will die, and if it's sooner than later, well that would be just fine.
I thought I had some sense of assurance when we called it quits for the last time. There was some implication that our little game would stay the same. But once we were a team, we all worked hard for our accomplishments. Our battles brought us closer but I know at times it got intense. But what I never thought about, you see, was limited battery life expectancy. We painted the town Vermilion. Oh, I often wonder, what could I have done? But now I'll mourn in Lavender, wishing I could turn back the calendar...
Takis Fuego 03:07
Stop re-making movies. They're already fine, assholes. It was good enough for me in 1993.
Limbus Test 01:56
There's just one way to assess your personality. One foolproof test to determine your morality. Does your attitude align with our philosophy? Make it through a session and then we'll see... Can you pass the Limbus Test? What did we do to deserve your generosity? Always keeping us so far from sobriety. We have no reason to feel any anxiety. When we're with you we're a part of high society.
I am a necromancer trying to bring myself back to life. My armies of the undead are not enough company for tonight. Is there a creature in Hell who's right for me? A Satan-spawned witch, kindred in misery? I have grown pale searching through arcane lore for the black magick spell I've never cast before. Each level of this dungeon feels the same. Is it my creation, am I to blame? Is the treasure I seek in this darkness worth the pain of endless solitude? Respawn again and again.
Left on Read 01:45
There's something I've been meaning to say, but I haven't been able to find a way. It's not that I don't have the words. In fact, I sent them yesterday. I just wanted to book a show. Top choices picked a month ago. But no one's gotten back to me to say 'yes' or 'no' - I've been left on read for days. Hey! Can you do me a favor? Did I say something wrong to him or her? Is it too much to ask? Is it such a major task? 'Cuz every time I get left on read I feel like I might as well be dead.
A heart should be able to take a beating, but mine has been subjected to abuse. I know all things are fleeting. And I share the blame, I don't mean to accuse. But I never would have expected this from you. You took my favorite show off Netflix, now what am I supposed to do?
Wendy 02:33
Nuggets and her burger, it's the only thing that I've been waiting for, in line, regardless of how long. Our appetite grows greater. Trapped by salty fries and chili for a time. The only thing that I've been waiting for. I hope it's something worth the waiting 'cuz it's the only time that I ever feel real. The show's start-time will never stop us. 'Cuz there's nowhere in the world like Wendy's. Menu's simple, yet enticing. Her freestyle machine makes me weak at my words. Stomach rumbles, impatiently waiting for a Baconator. This frosty coldens me for I have yet to eat. And never will I give up buying, 'cuz the value menu's all I need.


released December 11, 2019


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